It wasn't all that long ago that Barry Soper was measuring the litres of petrol burned by a Military Aircraft taking World Famous PM Jacinda Ardern on a visit to Nauru because she was breastfeeding her baby. Barry was determined to measure every drop and arrive at a figure we could all be horrified by.
Media were up in arms and it was pitchforks at dawn, because of the cost to the taxpayer while Duncan Garner said she should have pulled out of the meeting.
Before that of course Deborah Hill Cone ( with an e ) told us she did not like Clarke Gayford cos his name ended with an e - and media dogs barked and frothed at the mouth after Dame Jacinda met the Queen and looked smashing wearing a Māori cloak.
National Party voters ripped their shirts in outrage that the girl from the fush n chup shop had no substance and Fran told us the stardust would settle repeatedly while Audrey repeated that the honeymoon was over for about two years.
National Party leader Simon Bridges attacked Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern for visiting Tokelau during a sitting week of Parliament, describing her as a "part-time prime minister".
She should have been at home, back in the kitchen - back in Wellington but when she went there, what happened?
Local media were deeply upset Jacinda stayed too long in Wellington during Delta and she should have been on foot meeting people face to face in Auckland, forget about Covid, she really let Aucklanders down - were the headlines.
Of course Dame Jacinda did reconnect us to the world and came home with an historic FTA with the UK in March 2022, a boost to New Zealand’s GDP estimated between $700 million and $1 billion and NZ exporters to save approximately $37 million per year on tariff elimination alone from day one.
But nobody was impressed and the howling continued unabated.
In April 2022 Jacinda visited Singapore and Japan despite restrictions because of Covid but nobody mentioned her energy levels nor the intensity of the feels and how KPIs had been delivered as she moved around the room.
Instead Derek at the NZ Herald was bored out of his brain and wrote about it in the NZ Herald - you know like a naysayer.
A few months later Jacinda came home with a new FTA with the EU worth $100 million in tariffs in the first year the deal takes effect and an annual boost to GDP of up to $1.4 billion and increase of exports to the EU by up to $1.8 billion per year by 2035.
Media were gutted, nothing this bad had ever happened - as they focused on the misery from the Meat Industry and the National Party graded the deal six out of ten.
Todd McClay said we would have been better off to sit on our hands and wait. Far too much energy was being spent for not enough return.
Next minute media were aghast that Jacinda was leaving for the USA with "nothing booked in" with Biden and she delivered a speech to Harvard which clearly lacked sufficient energy levels.
The rest of the world were star struck while local media seethed like squeezed lemons.
Much to the dismay of local media Jacinda met President Biden for much longer than expected and he lavished praise upon her and everywhere she went the Americans rolled out the red carpet for her.
Jacinda did not have to fork out $10 grand like Sir John to get TV coverage - instead they fought over her in a bidding war.
This was intolerable for local media who really just wanted a change of government as they longed for a strong man - a man of business but mostly - a man to take charge and get us back on track.
Duplicity-Allan gave Jacinda 6 out of 10 for her trip as media turned to attacking Nanaia Mahuta for not travelling to Pacific Islands like the brand new Australian Foreign Minister. Local NZ Media were not having a bar of the fact that Nanaia had already met her counterparts on several occasions and spoken with them over the phone frequently.
Christopher Luxon criticised the lack of "hustle" and vowed Todd McClay would sign up an FTA with India just like that if National were elected.
This despite how in 2022 Jacinda visited Singapore, Japan, the United States, Australia, Fiji, the EU, the UK, and Australia again then back to the UK again for the Queen's funeral.
Jacinda even went to Antarctica to see first hand research on the effects of global warming while local media howled.
It was simply slack and not good enough.
I mean Labour signed up or upgraded seven FTAs, and this was appalling to National. Forget the money and the tangibles.
Where was the intensity and the delivery of KPIs about raising the energy levels? Where were the intangibles, the deepening of relationships and the bold goals for the distant future?
This morning RNZ celebrated the triumphant delivery of higher levels of intensity and energy levels as Christopher Luxon returned empty handed from Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines. A real media hero.
They were not alone as the NZ Herald editorial rejoiced and partied on hard - stating :
"The naysayers who bemoan our politicians travelling around the world on the taxpayer dollar should consider the upshots of those trips. Prime Minister Christopher Luxon leading a business delegation to Singapore, Trade Minister Todd McClay plying our business in China, Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters addressing the United Nations and meeting with US officials and Finance Minister Nicola Willis joining with a high-level business group in Washington DC are all for the good of our country."
Yes it was time to shut up and get in behind our heroes, delivering intangibles and higher energy levels - as the NZ Herald thanked them very much for all they are doing :
"To the political team flying the New Zealand flag overseas, nga mihi nui koutou katoa - thank you all very much. Now back to business." Love the NZ Herald.
There was no 6 out of 10 anymore as Shayne Currie reckoned the NZ Herald gets the balance about right and media were baffled that trust in media had fallen all the way down to 33%. Why oh why? Was it all Willie Jackson's fault or did Jacinda plan this again?
Barry had stopped measuring the cost of the fuel and his wife was strangely quiet as all was well with the world again thanks to the pep in Luxon's step and the tick beside the KPI as this Government gets things done...and we all get back on track.
Some people think media are sucking up to Luxon or their editors or something based only on the historical evidence of bias described above.
But surely we should dismiss the evidence and swallow the neoliberal myths peddled to us in headlines?
Just you wait, Todd has the upper hand in China and he's bound to wrestle an FTA out of India at any minute.
Back home Chris Bishop is being more than transparent over the projects and stakeholders at the last minute, David Seymour and Shane Jones are communicating smoothly and effectively with Luxon as one solid team - strong and stable government - and don't worry about those people losing their jobs, Nicola says it's just a few journalists flatting with public servants making some noise.
How it really is
Morena
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